How to Talk to Your Family About Your Will

Few things are as difficult as bringing up your will with your family. The topic is, admittedly, somewhat morbid and most definitely disquieting. However, this does not change its necessity or the fact that it’s only smart to inform them of your decisions. So, let’s go over how to talk to your family about your will.


Go in with a plan

The first thing you need to do in preparation for how to talk to your family about your will is to plan the encounter itself. Would you prefer to talk to your entire family at once? Or would it perhaps be better to do it separately? Are you on good terms with all your family members and want to see them all? Or are you planning to leave some of them out entirely? Even the date and time of your conversation are extremely important. It is a grim task to talk to them about your will. So, you want to make sure they are as calm and collected as possible. At the same time, you probably don’t want to ruin the mood by relying on the positive atmosphere of a holiday or similar to make the conversation more bearable. So, plan thoroughly, and plan carefully.


Have a rock-solid will

The basis of how to talk to your family about your will hinges entirely on the will itself. This means that you need to make absolutely certain it’s well-hashed out, that it covers everything it needs to, and even if it is actually what you want. It is true that the importance of having a will necessitates one, but a poorly written will only make things more difficult rather than less. If you are not yet prepared to deal with your will, then it’s OK to have something temporary put together with the broad strokes of your intentions noted down in it. You can then approach the writing of your will at your leisure. Once it’s finally time to have that talk, you will have your thoughts in order and be actually ready to convey them to your family.

A last will and testament

You may also want your lawyer to go over your will.


Important things to cover

Of course, the whole point of a will is to actually sort out what happens to a person’s earthly belongings after their passing. To this end, there are three important ‘categories’ which need to be covered in it.

  • Financial aspects of the will
  • Distribution of assets
  • Funeral arrangements

When it comes to financial concerns, you will describe things such as who the executor of the will is, what portion of your money goes towards your spouse, setting up trust funds for your children’s and grandchildren’s education, leaving money to charities, and management of your business or businesses. Asset distribution specifies who gets which property and even individual items you would like to bequeath to someone. Finally, it is also crucial to leave detailed instructions on how you’d like your funeral to be organized if that is something you care about.

Writing a letter by hand

Of course, you can include letters and messages in your will to be handed to people once you’ve passed.


Be entirely honest

When talking to your family about your will, one of the most important things is honesty. Do not shy away from explaining why you made each of your decisions. Of course, you should hardly be cruel! But honesty still goes a long way towards making them truly understand your feelings and intentions. And that will make it much easier to accept them. If you choose to leave your home to one of your children, for example, then explain why you believe they would benefit the most from it. Maybe they are renting their current home rather than owning one, and the others are more secure. If you’re leaving items of emotional value to specific people, explain why you want them, in particular, to have them. It can be an emotional and trying conversation to have, but it would be for the best.


Be calm and collected

Just as the moving experts from Van Express Movers emphasize that you need to remain calm during the chaos of a move, you also need to remain in control of your emotions when discussing your will with your family. The entire experience is likely to be very upsetting, whether you are on good terms with your family or not. Even if you feel like losing your temper with some of them, remember how that will affect the rest. If you remain calm, you can at least face the family members you like with the care they are due.


Make clear the necessity

You may run into a situation where your family does not want to talk about your will with you. They may find the idea morbid and entirely unnecessary or highly upsetting. This is particularly the case if you are still young and have lots of time ahead of you. In this scenario, you need to make it plainly clear why you think having a will is a necessity. Perhaps cite how even some common home injuries can result in sudden death and emphasize how having your affairs in order is always important. What’s important is that you convince them to listen to you willingly rather than force the issue. Things would just get awkward otherwise.

Letter blocks that spell out “life will not wait”

Unfortunately, life is full of accidents and unexpected events.


Your will does not need to be final

Finally, as you stress over how to talk to your family about your will, remember that the document does not have to be final. In fact, if you consult a professional on legal matters, they’ll tell you that it’s not smart to lock in your will and refuse to change it at all. Circumstances and people change. Once you’ve had the conversation, you might actually be shocked to have someone refuse to inherit some of what you’d intended to leave for them. In such scenarios, if possible, you might want to actually follow their wishes and reexamine your will.


Final comment

Knowing how to talk to your family about your will, unfortunately, does not make actually doing it much easier. That is still a challenge you will need to tackle on your own with considerable determination. However, we hope our advice will make the task a little more manageable.

Personal Injury Attorneys Central Kentucky – Mattingly, Simms, Robinson & McCain is focused on helping you receive the financial compensation you need and deserve after a serious accident or injury or the tragic loss of a loved one. We understand the complexities of personal injury cases. Our attention to detail and our sensitivity to our clients’ immediate and future needs are what drive us to get the most out of their medical and financial recovery.  Visit our website at

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