Going through a divorce is a difficult time in one’s life. Depending on the circumstances, there might be many negative feelings, disagreements, and arguments. However, when you have children, you naturally want to help them go through this painful process with as little disturbance as possible. Separation and divorce can cause anxiety even in the most easy-going of children. Add to that the stress of living in two homes, and the whole situation becomes more difficult for the child. Luckily, there are some ways to make your child comfortable in two homes! Follow these tips to help your kid make the transition and adjust to the new situation.

Ensure your child has their own space in both homes

Divorce is often a messy affair. Even when both participants are in agreement, the process can take time and effort. But once family law experts help you bring matters to a conclusion, it’s crucial to focus on your child’s wellbeing.

Firstly, make sure the child or children have a designated space in both your and your ex-partner’s homes. It can be a whole bedroom, a part of the closet for their things, or some space in the living room for toys and schoolwork. Having personal space will help kids feel welcome and appreciated in these new circumstances.

Help your children feel comfortable in each home

Another step is to make your child comfortable in two homes they now have. Let them make new space their own. Firstly, ensure your child has everything they need. Then, let them arrange their belongings as they like and choose decorations. Additionally, you can incorporate some special items and things you know they love. After all, you want them to go through the transition smoothly and feel happy in both homes.

A-child-playing-with-cubes

To make your child comfortable in two homes, ensure they have some space of their own

Have some necessary items in both homes

The key to making your child feel safe and secure in their new surroundings is to minimize the process of packing and going to their other home. This can be difficult at first, especially if one of the parents is living in temporary accommodation. However, once both you and your ex-partner find the right home for you, make it as cozy and functional as possible.

Having duplicate items in both homes will make going between them much more manageable. Pay special attention to clothes, footwear, toiletries, school supplies, toys, and other relevant items.

Maintain the old routines whenever possible

Children are often creatures of habit and routine. It is what makes home a home for them and enables them to feel secure, and divorce tends to upset this balance. As a result, the child may feel disoriented, stressed, and out of control.

Maintaining the routine in both parents’ homes will help them gain more control and security. It doesn’t have to be the same routine in each home. However, they need a sense of normalcy that timetables and predictable activities provide.

Keep transitions simple and positive

We’ve already touched upon this matter – make going from one home to another as simple and pleasant as possible. The less packing, searching for different items, and haste, the better. Instead, maintain a positive attitude and encourage your child to look forward to the occasion.

Additionally, it would be a good idea to stay in touch and yet not infringe on the other parent’s time. For example, make arrangements for a daily call or a video chat so you can both stay in touch with your child when they’re in the other parent’s home.

mother-and-daughter-packing-a-suitcase

Packing to go from one home to another can be stressful for the child.

Talk openly with your child

Another way to make your child comfortable in two homes is to talk openly about both. Dealing with emotions after a divorce can be difficult, but to your child, both homes are important. They’re equally a part of the child’s life, so be ready to listen to your kid and provide the necessary support and encouragement. The last thing you want is for your child to feel guilty about having fun and being loved in both homes. Therefore, stay positive and respectful.

Find an effective way to communicate with your ex-partner

Co-parenting after a divorce can be a challenging task. If emotions and grievances were high during the divorce, your child was undoubtedly aware of that. However, once the situation settles, it will become clear that both of you want what’s best for your child. And that means having both loving and caring parents in the picture. To achieve this, good communication is necessary.

A couple discussing with a counselor how to make a child comfortable in two homes

If you can’t reach an agreement on your own, look for professionals to help you.

For example, you can limit your conversations on matters connected to raising a child. Additionally, make arrangements about proper times and ways of communication. Respect each other’s time and schedule. This will enable you to work together toward a common goal – being there and providing support for your child. However, there are a few pitfalls you want to avoid:

  • Resist the desire to compete – the child should love, appreciate, and respect both of you. So, avoid bribing your child or buying their love with presents and similar.
  • Don’t expect your child to be a spy or a messenger – no one really wants to do this. However, in emotional turmoil after divorce, it may happen unconsciously.
  • Find some common ground – each household might have different rules and routines. But, it would be a good idea to make a few common rules – it will show your child that you work as a team for their benefit.

Relocating after divorce

Finding the right place after a divorce isn’t an easy task, and there are many factors that will influence your decision. Depending on the situation, you might need to move two blocks away or maybe to another state! Whichever it may be, once you find a perfect home, don’t forget to plan for relocation.

On top of everything else, packing and moving can be an additional stress source that will only complicate matters further. Instead, find reliable experts and focus your time and energy on providing love and support to your child. Many parents decide to settle down in a neighboring state after the divorce, and professional interstate movers will provide all the help you need.

Final thoughts

Experiencing difficulties after the divorce is normal. It takes time for everyone to adjust and settle in their new routines. However, if both you and your former partner have your kid’s best interests at heart, you’ll soon find a solution. Follow these tips to make your child comfortable in two homes and ensure they have a happy, secured, and enjoyable childhood.

Family Law Attorneys Springfield – Mattingly, Simms, Robinson & McCain.  We assist our clients in resolving family matters with the minimum of financial and emotional expense – but we are prepared to do whatever is necessary to help our clients successfully navigate the complexities of domestic relations law. Our clients find that we balance a respect and compassion for the situation the family is enduring with our approach to representing each client’s needs. Visit our website at https://springfieldkylaw.com/

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