Most common mistakes people make during a divorce

Love; the primordial driving force in all living things. It compels us to move mountains for the one we love. The fuel to our souls. Until death do us part. Or, more often than not, until love stops being enough. With numerous scientific studies conducted over the past century regarding life’s most stressful events and how they impact an individual, all of them reached the same conclusion – Death of a beloved one is by far the most stressful experience one can face, and, surprisingly enough, divorce comes in second. With that in mind, any individual going through a separation will encounter a full-blown spectrum of unforeseen emotions. We are here to talk about the most common mistakes people make during a divorce and how to mitigate the very act.

Obstacle 1 “The pettifogger entourage”

Of course, having a trusted law practitioner who will deftly navigate tumultuous legal waters should be imperative. Still, there’s always a friend, a family member who means well, knows better, and will give out free legal advice from their personal experience/perspective. That’s when you ought to politely decline the offer, as having people without any legitimate practice and knowledge of the law (no matter how loving and caring) can bear repercussions. Say yes to shoulder crying instead, ice-cream buckets, karaoke nights. Leave the unexciting part of your divorce to professionals in family law.

Two women sitting and talking by the body of water

Listening to professional advice is key to building your case

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

Take it from millions of divorced individuals who withheld valuable information from their divorce attorneys; it did not play to their advantage. Full transparency is the only way to ensure the best possible legal action strategy without causing irreversible damage to yourself and your reputation. Dishonesty in court is not encouraged and could even result in facing criminal charges – if you were to withhold information regarding marital assets, for example.

One-sided agreements are not agreements

It’s been a long time coming, and all you want is out. Understandable but also dangerous. Being too eager to get to “the finish line” could backfire immensely, especially if you represent the short straw party. Never accept one-sided settlements, as there is nothing your attorney can do after you’ve signed the papers. Waiving your property or rights can prove detrimental once your head is cool and reason comes back into play.

Abstruse reasoning

The process of divorce is known to cause inner havoc. Sleepless nights, regret, guilt, heightened sense of loneliness, rage, disappointment, helplessness; it’s an open channel of suppressed and unfamiliar emotions that can cause involuntary outbursts and actions. You could say, do or post things online that could potentially harm your divorce process; people often prolong the process out of spite, resulting in emotional and financial distress. If you’re feeling unbalanced, it is crucial to avoid making decisions based on your current feelings.

Man leaning on a table, holding his head

One of the most common mistakes people make during a divorce is poor reasoning when making decisions.

Portraying your ex-spouse as an antagonist to your children

That’s a big no. Although thoughts of bitterness are normal during (and after) divorce, sparing your children should be your number one priority. Refrain yourself from remarks when talking about your ex-spouse with your child; they are sponges, and everything you say against their parent reflects their psyche. Parental love is not prone to dissipating, do not sow seeds of suspicion, even if you’re struggling with single parenting. These are significant changes to adapt to. Moving to a new home as a single parent adds stress and complications to an already complex endeavor. So, don’t rush the process when relocating or adapting to new life circumstances.

Getting back in the game too soon

Again, one of the most common mistakes people make during a divorce is premature dating. Having a new partner makes things a lot more complicated than they need to be. If your relationship doesn’t sit well with your ex-spouse-to-be, you could expect them to use it against you during legal action. Provoking them will not mitigate the process; it can only make it more arduous. If children are involved, it could impact them profoundly as they require constant reassurance and a general feeling of safety during the adjustment phase. Having their parent involved with a new romantic partner could leave them extremely unnerved.

Seeing litigation as an only option

Resentment and other strong, negative feelings often lead to the costly and unnecessarily long legal process of divorce. The parties frequently fail to acknowledge and embrace a more diplomatic approach to separation. Mediation can be an excellent option for those open to reaching a mutual agreement. It does not involve a judge; it’s just you and your spouse making the call that will determine your future, individual lives, including custody. The mediation process keeps the children away from the chaos, leading to better co-parenting after the finalization of the divorce.

A couple sitting, facing the woman mediator represents the most common mistakes people make during a divorce

Mediation could lead to a positive shift in your relationship.

The aftermath math

Crunch the numbers before they crunch you. Transitioning from a two-income household to a single-income household can be frightening. And it truly is. There are multiple factors to account for and prepare for during your divorce process. Property. Are you keeping the house or selling it? Do you have any marital debts left? Alimony issues, child support, mortgages, credit accounts. Calculating your future budget and having a concrete, bulletproof financial plan before going on to living as a carefree divorcee is crucial for your peace of mind.

The truth behind divorce

It’s seldom easy. In the end, it seems that the most common mistakes people make during a divorce aren’t all that intricate; they are banal – it starts with having no patience to see the process through and no interest in listening to the other side. Even when the separation is amicable, unpredictable factors are waiting to obstruct the coveted goodbye. That’s why having an experienced attorney by your side could make all the difference.

Divorce Attorneys Springfield – Mattingly, Simms, Robinson & McCain assist our clients in resolving family matters with the minimum of financial and emotional expense – but we are prepared to do whatever is necessary to help our clients successfully navigate the complexities of domestic relations law. Our clients find that we balance a respect and compassion for the situation the family is enduring with our approach to representing each client’s needs. Visit our website at

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